


broken machine

by CapriciousCrab



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Stress Relief, Tour Fic, popcorn and cheesy 90's movies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-12
Updated: 2018-07-12
Packaged: 2019-06-09 04:48:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15259773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CapriciousCrab/pseuds/CapriciousCrab
Summary: They're halfway through the tour and Phil is nearing the breaking point.





	broken machine

**Author's Note:**

> I'm just a broken machine  
> Not who I used to be  
> I'm spinning out of control  
> ~~Nothing But Thieves

They'd fallen asleep to the gentle rocking of the tour bus, Phil agreeing to take a lazy day nap with him. Dan had taken one look at his face, the way Phil's lips were tight at the corners and the beads of sweat starting to form on his brow and he'd known the swaying of the bus was making his stomach twist and squirm, nausea rising. He also knew Phil would insist he was fine and that he could ride it out, but Dan knew he'd be getting sick into a bag later if he didn't try sleeping it off. So he pulled his sweetest face and looked at Phil with wide, hopeful eyes until Phil had sighed and given in. They'd flopped together on the pull-out with a cold, wet cloth held to Phil's forehead as they drifted.

  
**

Dan woke to the same gentle rocking, his body heavy with the sort of drunken exhaustion that he always felt when floating up from a nap. He yawned as he stretched, instinctively reaching out for Phil despite knowing the other side of the bed was empty. There were some things he just couldn't control and his subconscious searching for Phil was one of them.

The door had been pulled closed, but Dan could hear the murmur of Phil's voice drifting back from the front lounge, the words themselves a quiet buzz he couldn't decipher. He hauled himself from the bed and glanced at the tiny alarm clock they'd tossed onto the side table, absently noting they'd slept for a few hours. Well, Dan had slept for a few hours. He wasn't sure what Phil had been doing while Dan was splayed out upon the mattress.

He made his way down the hall, bumping his hip along the bunks as he tried to move in rhythm with the motion of the bus. He smelled fresh coffee and knowing Phil's penchant for drinking it late into the evening, stopped to make them each a cup. He was stirring sugar into Phil's cup when he heard him clearly for the first time and the frost in his voice was enough to make him pause and lift his head. He could see Phil at the tiny table, earpiece in while he hammered out something on his Mac. His back was to Dan, but he could nearly feel the tension visible in those shoulders.

“No, that is **not** what we agreed on. You have a copy of the proposal as do I and it clearly states the negotiated terms. This has been dragging on for months and you're still no closer to getting us confirmed dates.”

A pause as Phil listened to whoever was on the other end of the call. His reply was like ice-coated glass, each word sharp and cold as he answered with an uncharacteristic ultimatum.

“Then I suggest you re-read it and get back to me before we call the whole thing off. I'm sure we can find other venues to accommodate us. Have a nice evening.” Phil snapped, ending the call as he tossed his earpiece to the table and slamming the lid of his laptop shut. He folded forward, and Dan heard the thunk of his head hitting the table. It made him frown as he made his way to his side, coffee in hand.

He slid into the opposite booth and nudged the cup across the table. Dan let his fingers run over Phil's knuckles before folding his hand over Phil's clenched fist.

“Wanna talk about it?” he asked, thumb sliding across the back of Phil's hand in a soothing stroke of comfort. Phil wasn't the type to vent often, not like Dan. He's happy to let it out knowing that Phil would be there to listen, to offer sympathy or advice depending on Dan's mood. Phil, however, was more reticent, never wanting to burden anyone with his troubles. Dan's learned how to coax it out in a Phil-acceptable way, so he waits now for the humming noise that lets him know he's agreeable to talk about it.

“hmmm”

Dan nearly smiled at the predictability of it all until Phil raised his head and looked at Dan with tired eyes. The dark circles under his eyes stand out garishly against his pale face, making him look even more fragile and delicate than usual. Dan's amusement turned to a frustrated concern and a need to protect.

“Phil,” he admonished, catching and holding Phil's gaze. “Why haven't you talked to me about whatever is stressing you out so badly?”

He feels slightly insulted, like Phil doesn't trust him enough to confide in him, but he tries to put that aside. It's an old wound, one they've discussed alone and in therapy and he knows that Phil trusts him, he just has a hard time opening up. A work in progress as their therapist would say so Dan tries to let it go.

Phil has guilty eyes now as if he knows what Dan's thinking. He fidgeted in his seat and used his free hand to play with his coffee cup, turning it 'round then bringing it to his mouth for a sip. He set the cup down on the table carefully then blew out a breath, his coffee scented breath wafting against Dan's face.

“I didn't say anything because I'm the one who's been dealing the venue issues since the beginning. And sometimes you just...can't.” Phil said carefully as he gave Dan's hand a squeeze.

He knows what Phil means and while he understands his desire to shield him from the shittier parts of life, it frustrates him that it's still a concern that Phil carries with him.

“What else?”

Once again Phil fidgets and rubs at his eyes, before giving Dan a weak half-smile.

“Oh, you know, the usual bullshit. The meet and greets are too short, I'm too insincere, I don't talk enough. I hug too much, you don't hug long enough. And these fucking TBC dates.” He rubs his face before folding back over the table to rest his face in his arms. “Sometimes I feel like a machine, a broken machine trying to do too much and never getting it right.”

Phil sighed, the apologized. “I'm sorry, I'm fine. I'm just tired. And I miss our bed.”

Dan could literally feel the blood filling his cheeks in an angry flush, pissed at the seemingly never-ending litany of complaints that Phil waded through in the fruitless hope of making everyone happy. Well, everyone can fuck right off for all he cared at this moment.

Oh, he knows that Phil brings much of this on himself, the always happy persona he wears for their subscribers leaving him repressing any bit of negativity he might feel. He knows Phil would never address any complaints with anything less than an apology but Dan would. And he will...but right now he wants to focus on things he can change.

So he tugged at Phil's hand until Phil sat back up. He stood and pulled Phil to his feet before taking him by the shoulders and turning him around, giving him a gentle shove toward the back lounge.

“Ok, here's what we're going to do. You're going to change into pajamas and get into bed,” he said, twisting to grab the coffee cups from the table.

“What will you be doing? Are you coming to bed too?”

Dan nudged him with his hip to get him moving before placing the cups in the sink, grabbing the biggest bowl he could find.

“I'm going to be making popcorn. Then we're going to get cozy and watch one of your favorite movies. And I won't even complain.” he said as he reached for the popcorn.

“Not even if I pick Speed?” Phil said, his tired face lighting up with a smile.

“Nope, not even then,” Dan laughed. “Now come on, let's go watch baby Keanu and baby Sandra drive a bus”

**

After the popcorn had been eaten and the movie watched, they wrapped themselves around each other in a cozy tangle of limbs, the body heat gathering beneath the duvet creating a delicious drowsiness. Dan played with Phil's hair while he listened to his breathing slow and deepen, his head nestled on Dan's chest. Sleep had finally given Phil respite from the tension that had drained all the charming vivacity from him, that had left him tense and snappish. Dan knew they still had things to address both tomorrow and perhaps again in therapy, but tonight with the sound of Speed in the background, Dan put his broken machine back together again.

One piece of popcorn at a time.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> I'm on Tumblr, stop by and say hello!  
> capriciouscrab.tumblr.com


End file.
